ON MY WEDDING DAY

On my wedding day, I woke up in my best maids house. Not in my parent's house as it's "supposed" to be. My parents had moved out of town many years prior. All through my life I had friends who constantly dreamed of the day when they would finally leave home but in my case, home left me. I would have wanted it to be different but I decided to enjoy what I had rather than whine about what I didn't have. God is so faithful, he gave me a mentor and boss who became my best friend and was like a mother to me. God will restore to you what you've lost and make it even more beautiful that what you could have imagined. Don't be so engrossed in what could have been. Enjoy what is.

On my wedding day I did my own make up. I wasn't trying to be cheap or humble. I just never imagined it any other way. That was me! My best maid and I had a late breakfast, did a facial and lay down as our masks dried up, going through girly magazines. Bliss! Never fit into the mold of what others feel should be the norm. Enjoy your life your way. If you want a barefoot wedding at the beach, go ahead. If you want a rustic wedding in your favorite ushago spot, go for it. If you want Cinderella to be jealous of your dress and decor, go for it. It's your day. Don't have other people's dream wedding on their behalf.

On my wedding day, we had no honeymoon plans. You see, we had decided that we were not going to go in to debt or to hassle people for money. We were going to live withing our means. God is either able or He isn't. We believed that He was. We didn't have a committee to arm twist for money or a fundraiser. We refused to mug people politely and not to pressure our friends.We sowed seed, we prayed, we saved, we worked, we gave and we trusted. By the end of the day, through faith, our own saving and through people's free will giving, the honeymoon was paid for. We flew there and back and spend an awesome time in an awesome resort. Don't panic, trust God.

On my wedding day, the unthinkable happened. My menses came. Brides, don't panic when this happens. Don't think your day is doomed. All day I had bad cramps, nausea and a bad headache. I was a bit frail. I remember shaking coz my bouquet was so heavy and my strength was not up to par. But I smiled for the camera, sang to my groom and enjoyed my day. The quality of life is not determined by what happens to you but by how you respond to it. Your response is your responsibility. Refuse to let unexpected twists floor you.

On my wedding day I experienced mercy. I had hurt some people along the way because of insensitivity and some not so good decisions. I had hurt a tailor here, a friend there, a relative elsewhere. I regretted it a lot. I thank God that they graced me anyway. They came, they celebrated with us and they even gave us gifts. It's never worth it hurting the ones you love and losing relationships because of your focused efforts to do things your way. Even when you may not agree, even if service providers dissapoint you, be gracious. Walk in love and stay at peace with people without allowing yourself to be controlled and manipulated. Good people are precious. Don't let your focus blind you. Don't be a diva and don't give ultimatums. Please NEVER tell your parents "We are doing things our way so you better line up or you may not even get an invitation!"

On my wedding day, I had my priorities right. I asked God to walk me down the aisle as my Ultimate Father. My greatest priority was His presence and His pleasure. The presence of God was so great, I remember pastor almost falling down and taking a step backward to stay steady. God's presence was so strong and so sweet. One by one, we began to cry. We had a mini cry fest. God was in the house. I had my closest friends as my bridal party. Not photogenic strangers. I was so thrilled to be joined to the love of my life, every other detail was secondary. Do the right thing, do it because it's right and do it the right way and let God show up and show off for you.

I thank God for the things that went very well. We made it on time, the worship was awesome, my nephews were so cute, the candles were so beautiful and the rain at the end of the day was like a divine signature signing off at the end of a perfect day.

Weddings are like that. They are rarely ever picture perfect. Much like relationships. Don't be fooled by the glossy photos, flawless makeup, and brilliant smiles. Don't think your marriage must be doomed because you had an argument during the honeymoon.  Don't lose a good relationship because things are not perfect. Don't let your little flaws blind you to your great qualities together. Celebrate what you have.

Baraka!