On my wedding day, I woke up
in my best maids house. Not in my parent's house as it's "supposed" to
be. My parents had moved out of town many years prior. All through my
life I had friends who constantly dreamed of the day when they would
finally leave home but in my case, home left me. I would have wanted it
to be different but I decided to enjoy what I had rather than whine
about what I didn't have. God is so faithful, he gave me a mentor and
boss who became my best friend and was like a mother to me. God will
restore to you what you've lost and make it even more beautiful that
what you could have imagined. Don't be so engrossed in what could have
been. Enjoy what is.
On my wedding day I did my own make
up. I wasn't trying to be cheap or humble. I just never imagined it any
other way. That was me! My best maid and I had a late breakfast, did a
facial and lay down as our masks dried up, going through girly
magazines. Bliss! Never fit into the mold of what others feel should be
the norm. Enjoy your life your way. If you want a barefoot wedding at
the beach, go ahead. If you want a rustic wedding in your favorite
ushago spot, go for it. If you want Cinderella to be jealous of your
dress and decor, go for it. It's your day. Don't have other people's
dream wedding on their behalf.
On my wedding day, we had
no honeymoon plans. You see, we had decided that we were not going to go
in to debt or to hassle people for money. We were going to live withing
our means. God is either able or He isn't. We believed that He was. We
didn't have a committee to arm twist for money or a fundraiser. We refused to mug people politely and not to pressure our friends.We sowed
seed, we prayed, we saved, we worked, we gave and we trusted. By the end of the day,
through faith, our own saving and through people's free will giving, the honeymoon was paid for. We flew
there and back and spend an awesome time in an awesome resort. Don't
panic, trust God.
On my wedding day, the unthinkable
happened. My menses came. Brides, don't panic when this happens. Don't
think your day is doomed. All day I had bad cramps, nausea and a bad
headache. I was a bit frail. I remember shaking coz my bouquet was so
heavy and my strength was not up to par. But I smiled for the camera,
sang to my groom and enjoyed my day. The quality of life is not
determined by what happens to you but by how you respond to it. Your response is your responsibility. Refuse to let unexpected
twists floor you.
On my wedding day I experienced mercy. I
had hurt some people along the way because of insensitivity and some
not so good decisions. I had hurt a tailor here, a friend there, a
relative elsewhere. I regretted it a lot. I thank God that they graced
me anyway. They came, they celebrated with us and they even gave us
gifts. It's never worth it hurting the ones you love and losing
relationships because of your focused efforts to do things your way.
Even when you may not agree, even if service providers dissapoint you,
be gracious. Walk in love and stay at peace with people without allowing
yourself to be controlled and manipulated. Good people are precious.
Don't let your focus blind you. Don't be a diva and don't give
ultimatums. Please NEVER tell your parents "We are doing things our way
so you better line up or you may not even get an invitation!"
On
my wedding day, I had my priorities right. I asked God to walk me down
the aisle as my Ultimate Father. My greatest priority was His presence
and His pleasure. The presence of God was so great, I remember pastor
almost falling down and taking a step backward to stay steady. God's presence was so
strong and so sweet. One by one, we began to cry. We had a mini cry
fest. God was in the house. I had my closest friends as my bridal party.
Not photogenic strangers. I was so thrilled to be joined to the love
of my life, every other detail was secondary. Do the right thing, do it
because it's right and do it the right way and let God show up and
show off for you.
I thank God for the things that went
very well. We made it on time, the worship was awesome, my nephews were
so cute, the candles were so beautiful and the rain at the end of the
day was like a divine signature signing off at the end of a perfect day.
Weddings
are like that. They are rarely ever picture perfect. Much like
relationships. Don't be fooled by the glossy photos, flawless makeup,
and brilliant smiles. Don't think your marriage must be doomed because
you had an argument during the honeymoon. Don't lose a good
relationship because things are not perfect. Don't let your little flaws
blind you to your great qualities together. Celebrate what you have.
Baraka!
19 years ago, my husband was working 7 days a week. In
Church ministry, most staff members get their off days on Mondays. There are
too many preparations for ministry on Saturday so it has to be a work day. So
while the rest of us were off on Monday, my husband had counseling sessions
and had to work on Monday to make sure all was well in his department before
office opens again on Tuesday. We were newly married and had no time together
except in the evenings and as you know, that is also not always guaranteed.
What many people do when this happens, is to conclude that it is their fate.
“The will of God”. That they should be at least grateful that they have jobs.
Ladies
give your husband a break. Stop judging them, criticizing them,
constantly battering them with your words and crushing their egos. Stop
trying to make them like you, they will never be like you. They were
made from DIRT! 
Sometimes the wisest cause of action is to RUN!!
It is a tragedy to spend so much [time, emotions, money, lyrics, romance] on the WRONG PERSON! It's heart breaking.
